What is it that we look for in a relationship? Do we look for companionship? Love? Physical fulfillment? Security? Do we look for someone to share life's joys and sorrows with? For most of us, it's probably a combination of all the above. But somehow, even the most evolved of us, tend to forget the bigger picture, and even a single reason seems hard to remember, when the rigors of everyday life take their toll.
In the state I am right now, single, and not really to ready to mingle, solitary is alone, but not lonely.
It's wistful, but not yearning.
And it's healing, but still a little sore.
Would that I could go back into the past and show myself a glimpse of the future that lay ahead, just around the corner, but still out of sight, where everyday wasn't a battle, where winter evenings were accompanied by solo piano pieces playing in the background, while I blogged away, where mornings filled with coffee and sunshine did exist, and wonder or wonders, I still proved to be a dab hand at baking.
Where chapped lips dealt with a life bereft of kisses, where my skin was softened and scented, for me.
Too often, we live for others. We're brought up to. And so, even though the feminist in you rebels, you dress for a significant other, wear your hair like he likes it, use his favourite perfume. And then, when you face life alone, you have to get used to doing things for yourself, because you're so used to falling in with the choices of others. Suddenly, there's no one to wear that perfume for, and it takes a while to understand, that you could actually wear it for yourself. What a surprise.
Piano pieces speak to my soul.
I don't like pizza , chocolate chips in ice cream, or daiquiris.
Movies make me happy, and books, books, make me forget myself.
My horoscope sets the tone for the day, and can make me more hopeful for the future than a new job. Alone time is more rejuvenating than a day at the spa, perfume makes me feel special, and flowers, still make me smile, whether or not they're from someone special.
Just like everyone else, I'm many layered and complex - and after all these years, I'm finally getting to know.. Me.
May I be someone I like.
In the state I am right now, single, and not really to ready to mingle, solitary is alone, but not lonely.
It's wistful, but not yearning.
And it's healing, but still a little sore.
Would that I could go back into the past and show myself a glimpse of the future that lay ahead, just around the corner, but still out of sight, where everyday wasn't a battle, where winter evenings were accompanied by solo piano pieces playing in the background, while I blogged away, where mornings filled with coffee and sunshine did exist, and wonder or wonders, I still proved to be a dab hand at baking.
Where chapped lips dealt with a life bereft of kisses, where my skin was softened and scented, for me.
Too often, we live for others. We're brought up to. And so, even though the feminist in you rebels, you dress for a significant other, wear your hair like he likes it, use his favourite perfume. And then, when you face life alone, you have to get used to doing things for yourself, because you're so used to falling in with the choices of others. Suddenly, there's no one to wear that perfume for, and it takes a while to understand, that you could actually wear it for yourself. What a surprise.
Piano pieces speak to my soul.
I don't like pizza , chocolate chips in ice cream, or daiquiris.
Movies make me happy, and books, books, make me forget myself.
My horoscope sets the tone for the day, and can make me more hopeful for the future than a new job. Alone time is more rejuvenating than a day at the spa, perfume makes me feel special, and flowers, still make me smile, whether or not they're from someone special.
Just like everyone else, I'm many layered and complex - and after all these years, I'm finally getting to know.. Me.
May I be someone I like.
1 comments:
i hope you finish your book soon
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